Response:
Dear Carmen,
I know what you are going through! You have the best
of intentions but you are still nowhere near over
this guy - or else you would not care about whether
he knows you have moved on.
In writing to him, you are saying loud and clear
that you have not moved on; that you still have
strong feelings for him, even though your words say
otherwise. And you don't need to
tell him that you're smart!
Remember, men don't like long emails - and 4
paragraphs counts as long. Actions speak louder than
words - so the best way to show him you have moved
on is to leave him completely alone.
Email should not be for this kind of communication,
either - for LOTS of reasons.
It's not a good idea, in my opinion, to send an ex
an "I'm doing great now" email. What would you think
if you got exactly that email from someone you broke
up with whom you had treated the way this guy has
been treating you? It would sound a little pathetic,
wouldn't it? Believe me, I am not saying that to
insult you! I'm saying it so you will see how it
will sound to HIM.
And please don't talk yourself into sending it for
your OWN sake, for "closure." I
know how that goes - women do this all the time: "I
don't care what HE thinks of my email. I'm not
sending it for him. I'm sending it for me - for
closure." You want closure, girls? Well, that's not
the way to get it!
Why? It's because, as I say in my book
'Calling Men', when he IGNORES this big
effort you have put into your email with your time
and your emotions - while you are telling yourself
you don't care about him anymore - you WILL feel
hurt, and you will regret sending that email.
It's completely unnecessary to put yourself through
that.
If you want to forget a man, then leave him alone.
If you want to make him start thinking about you
again, then don't send him an email - instead get
word to him from someone else that another guy is
really interested in you!
All this time you are spending on him, you could be
meeting new people who will appreciate you. After
all, he did, so other men will too.
I know how hard it is when you really care about
someone and it ends. But you can get past that And
later on, you will see him in a completely different
light - you can count on that!
Thank you for allowing us to share in your
situation, "Carmen," and when this guy calls you
again - which is a lot more likely to happen if you
don't send that email - put him on "Relationship
Rations" (TM). That means you won't see him too
often. But better yet, give someone else a
chance so you can get some perspective.
I hope things work out very well for Carmen!!
Love
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Calling
a Man at the wrong time could end your relationship!
