Internet Dating Articles  

Internet Dating Mistakes                    

Continued from Page 1

Keeping Dating in Balance

A week or so more and you are becoming slightly irritated by the emails and are not responding quite so readily. But he asks you if you want to come out for another evening and that heart leaps to your throat again.

You agree even though there is a vague memory of discomfort from the first meeting. Well you remind yourself that all the dating advice recommends that it is about getting to know someone. I can’t expect to feel comfortable about everything immediately.

He is suggesting dinner again, you don’t really want to but you are not sure what you want to do so you go along with it. You had arranged to see a girl-friend that night but you tell her you can’t make it, she seems a bit put-out but you put that thought aside.

The second evening seems very long.

Too much too soon – It is so tempting to put all your focus on one person at a time when you are looking to date on the internet. But it is important to remember that not only are all those people out there looking at numerous people at any one time but you could be too. If you put most of your time and energy into any one contact at a very early stage this means that you cannot scout, screen and sort other possible people. • Dating Advice #1: Don’t make a big investment emotionally in any relationship without solid foundations.

If you know what your requirements are in a relationship this will help you assess quite quickly if this person is for you. Most of us allow things to just drift along and are not pro-active in having a plan for ourselves when it comes to relationships. • Dating Advice #3: How is it we plan for everything except relationships? Take some time to plan what you want in a relationship before you get into a habit or rut with someone.

Fantasy – it’s only in your head – It is very easy to live in the fantasy of a relationship even from a very early stage. After all that is why you have signed up on the dating site in the first place – you want a relationship. However, being truthful with yourself is easier if you have a relationship plan.

Then you can ask yourself, from the information you have so far, does this person tick some of my boxes. If so then you can continue to find out more about them whilst finding out about other people at the same time. Projecting onto any one person, especially at a very early stage, all you hopes and dreams is likely to bring you some amount of pain and heartache when you find this isn’t going to work out.

Dating Advice #4: Spread the emotional load by giving your attention to a number of people, it helps deal with the ups and downs of the dating cycle if you are not exclusive right from the start.

Not paying enough attention to the signals – it is amazing how quickly we can get ourselves into habits and relationships, however new, are one of those areas. We all like attention and contact with people but what about the rest of your life, those friends who have been around for you, your family.

Anyone who might be for you will, you hope, want to share life with a person who has a balanced life and that includes all the other activities and people in your life. Straining towards exclusivity at a very early stage and throwing all your time and attention towards the relationship can be a disaster.

Dating Advice #5: Get out there and have any dating and relationships fit in with your life as a successful single. Know what your requirements, needs and wants are and look for someone who can meet those.