What To Do When He Says, "Call Me"

An excerpt from…

Calling Men - The Complete Guide to Calling and Emailing Men
By Mimi Tanner
Calling Men

Often a new man in our lives will say to us, “Call me.” What does that mean?

Those two little words can play big games with a woman’s mind if she’s not aware of what they really mean – and how she should react (or not react) to them.

There’s only one time when it’s good news to hear “Call me” from a man – and that’s when he’s already calling you frequently. He’s already actively pursuing you, and would be thrilled to get a call from you. That’s the way you want it.

As you can imagine, when a woman calls a new man daily or even more often, instead of making her calls rare and special occasions, her calls will be far less welcome and are much more likely to come at a bad time or become an annoyance.

Worse still, her constant calls virtually ensure that her man is never going to spend time thinking about her.

A man must spend time thinking about you in order to fall in love with you.

When a man casually says “Call me,” some women assume that this means he intends to make a date, when he was just ending your conversation. “Call me” can be the equivalent of the not-too-sincere “let’s have lunch.”  Translation: “Call me – a year from never!”

When we really want to get closer to a man, and he throws out “Call me,” some women make the mistake of latching on to this and taking it too literally. This reveals to him that you have a lot more invested in a future with him than he does at that point. This will make a man want to back off from you immediately. 

Here’s a question from a woman who wondered what to do when a man told her to call him:

Hi Mimi,

“I’m mulling this over in my head: I went out with a guy on Friday night.  We’ve gone out before, but nothing terribly serious. 

When he dropped me off, he said, 'Call me early this coming week and we can chat. I had a great time tonight.'

So, of course, I said, 'Well, you have a phone too; why don’t you call me?'

He laughed and said, 'Yeah, you’re right, I guess it works both ways.' 

Mimi, when I heard those words ‘I guess’ that told me a lot – it states loud and clear that he’s not interested - or at least, not interested enough. [‘I guess’ about whether he should call her is very weak language indeed!]

So, I was just going to wait for him to call me, but then the next day he called me and left a message on my cell phone.  I called back, but his phone was turned off or didn’t have service, which is understandable because he told me he was going to be at a boxing match that night, and it was nighttime by the time I called back.

Anyway, I was just wondering, now that it’s ‘early this week,’ if it would be appropriate for me to call him, or if I should just wait and see if he calls me?

This might be a stupid question, but I think my judgment goes away when I really like someone...”

-- Beth