What To Do When He Says, "Call Me"
Dear Beth,
“Of course it’s sometimes hard to hang on to our good judgment when we really like someone. I know exactly what you mean.
You handled that beautifully when you said in a flirtatious way that he has a phone too. You didn’t say ‘Oh, I never call men.’ Women should never say that - it’s too harsh and it makes you sound like you read a book about not calling men! It’s a good idea to keep your ‘secret weapons’ a secret, and maintain your mystery.
Men are not stupid. It’s never necessary to tell a man that you don’t call men - at least not any man who is worth your time.
It’s not a good sign that his parting words were ‘Call me early next week and we can chat.’ They should have been, ‘I’ll call you early this week’ which states both the fact that he will call and when. So you did well to let him know up-front that you don’t play the game by his rules which put you at a distinct disadvantage. What if you would have said, ‘Okay, I’ll call you,’ and sweetly accepted his putting the ball in your court to continue the relationship by pursuing him? Perish the thought! That would be the beginning of the end!
He told you to call him ‘to chat.’ That means nothing – especially since he told you to do the calling.
Perhaps he was testing you to find out how much of a challenge you will be, or how ‘into him’ you already are – or perhaps he’s just been spoiled by other women who do call.
When you lightly said that he could also call you, it went well – because he did call you the next day.
Saying ‘Hey, you have a phone, too – you can call me’ works as long as you say it in a smiling and teasing way – never offended or indignant. It works also because you are telling him nicely what you want him to do. He’ll get the message.
You already tried to return his call, and were unable to. So when he calls you, you can mention that. But it’s not a good idea to try numerous times to return a phone call that can’t be returned – even if he does not know you tried to call.
It’s his job to make sure his phone is turned on. If it’s turned off, then he probably doesn’t want any calls – especially if he’s left no means for you to leave a message. He knows he’s unreachable, and that must be what he wanted right then. It’s not a problem if he calls you later when he can talk. He did not forget that you exist!
He knows you probably tried to reach him, but were unable to, if his phone was out-of-service. Not only do cell phones show ‘missed calls’ but no one else was able to reach him either at that time. If your return call is important to him, he will call you, since he knows he may have missed your call too. So let it go.
Your best move now is to do absolutely nothing! This means that you don’t have to think about him until you hear from him again! I know; that’s easier said than done. But just get your mind on something else.
When he does call you back, you’ll know he’s truly interested and he’ll know that you are not desperate.
You did not move heaven and earth to find out why he did not or could not pick up his phone. You did not keep calling him until you reached him.
He’ll also know that you are not going to be the type of girl who hounds him mercilessly once he shows the slightest interest in you. That will put him at ease.
Because of how you handle calling him, he is far less likely to ever keep you at a distance - because it will not be necessary.”
Read the entire book Calling Men to find out:
- Why it doesn’t work when a man expects a woman to call him first.
- What can you say to the man who tells you to call him?
- What if he insists that you call him first?
- Should you give your number to a man who has not asked you for it?
- Will he get angry with you if he says “Call me” and you don’t call him?
- And much, much more!
P.S. I recommend Mimi Tanner to you and every visitor of my site. She has a weekly email that is sent to over 30,000 women around the world who cling to her every word. RelationshipHeadquarters.com is proud to endorse this and all of Mimi Tanner's products! Thank you and good luck, Bob Grant
