Do you think you understand men? Let’s find out. Remember all of these answers are possible, and your goal is to select the BEST one for each question.
- A woman tells her boyfriend that she is upset with her boss and he immediately offers advice on how to speak with her boss. Which is the most likely reason for his reaction?
Answer: C
Reason:
Men in general are able to manage emotional pain/discomfort by simply ignoring it until a more favorable time. Usually this involves taking a few days for them to think through a solution to the problem while in some instances they just ignore what bothers them until the situation no longer exists.
What is tough on a man when the woman he cares about is upset is that neither of those options work in regards to her. Because he cares for her, he actually feels her pain and because of this he wants to fix it as soon as possible. While it may feel like he doesn’t care about your feelings, the truth is that his trying to fix the problem is what he knows how to do. It’s what he’d do for a close male friend or himself. Most men don’t have the brain capacity to listen attentively to the woman they love share her pain/frustration and not be allowed to relieve the pain through some sort of task.
- When is the best time to discuss a disagreement with a man?
Answer: B
Reason:
It’s a frequent cliché that you should address a disagreement the moment it arises but there is a difference between setting a boundary and discussing the incident. If a man is doing something you really don’t like (such as being rude in front of your friends) then you need to tell him immediately (or he won’t know to stop). If you want to have a discussion regarding a particular disagreement then there is only one time to do so with a man: when he’s humble, otherwise he won’t be able to hear you.
Men don’t really listen to women until they are humble. It doesn’t matter how logical or persuasive you think you are, unless his guard is down he’ll only view the discussion as one big competition.
What’s humble? The easiest way to tell is when a man takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t blame others.
“I’m really sorry,” sounds humble but often it isn’t. Saying your sorry and taking full responsibility are entirely different for men.
“I’m sorry I raised my voice. I don’t like it when you interrupt me, but I still shouldn’t have yelled.” Now that’s humble and with that type of statement the man has signaled that he is open to a discussion.
- When is a man most likely to feel closer to you?
Answer: B
Reason: Women aren’t the only ones who like to talk about what interests them. A good rule of thumb regarding me is – When he’s listening his guard is going up and when he’s talking his guard is going down. What most women don’t understand is that no one really listens to a man. At work people listen because they are paid to do so (they have to) but rarely does anyone want to know what a man is really thinking. Therefore when a woman actually listens to a man it has the effect of creating an emotional bond for him.
- At a party you have had great conversation with a particular guy that seems interesting. He ends up asking for your phone number and you give it to him. After one week he doesn’t call you. Why is the most likely reason he didn’t call?
Answer: D
In general, when it comes to matters of the heart, men act on impulse. When a guy asks for your phone number it is almost always because he wants to call you. It’s too risky to make such a request for any other reason. Yet, because of men’s impulsive tendencies it is important that a woman remember this: Men have more value for those things that require more effort.
While it’s hard to have a strict rule to follow, in general if a man asks for your phone number early in a conversation, smile and say, “I’m not sure, I might need more convincing.” If you smile it will come across to him as flirtatious. If you say it with a serious face, then you’ve acted far too serious.
What this statement does is test how much he is willing to invest. If he’s only being impulsive and is put off by your playfulness, then it is doubtful he would have called you anyway, but most will take your invitation to charm them as a challenge that is quite fun.
Men tend to listen for the words “No” or “No thanks” and unless they hear those words, most will continue to pursue what they want (you and your phone number).
- You ask your man to help you paint your bathroom later in the week even though you know that he really doesn’t like doing “fix it up” things. Which response actually tells you that you will probably get what you want?
Answer: C
Reason: When a man isn’t going to do something his usually response is to ignore a request or make fun of it. Try this some time. Ask the man you love for something outlandish, like a new Mercedes (the $100,000 kind). Watch his response. He won’t argue or get upset. He’ll either laugh or just pretend you didn’t ask him anything. He knows he isn’t going to get you that car no matter what you say so any discussing is simply a waste of his energy.
Now when a man is considering your request, he may not like it, but his protest often means that he is considering it and yet probably isn’t ready at that moment to agree to what you want.
Therefore a wise woman doesn’t argue with a man when he begins to protest for doing so will only allow him to harden his position. She realizes that he is already inclined to give her what he wants and she simply allows disengages when he gets defensive.
- You’ve just had a one-hour discussion with your boyfriend about his being rude to you in front of your friends. Eventually he takes responsibility for his actions and apologizes. For the rest of the evening he gets quiet and seems aloof. What is he most likely feeling?
Answer: D
The fact that you had to point out what he did wrong for over an hour is what is most troubling. What he most likely is having difficulty with is being corrected. A better way to handle this would be once you have pointed out what he has done, leave him alone if he begins to argue the point. Leave him alone until he is humble, even if it takes days. The truth is that unless your boyfriend is humble, he won’t hear a thing you have to say.
- A group of men are gathered together for dinner after attending a sporting event. During the course of conversation the topic turns to, other than their wife, which girl they wished they had married. Which characteristics did the men most fondly remember?
Answer: C
Reason: While each of these merit some truth, a confident woman is always stands out to men. Now to men, the most appealing quality that conveys confidence is the ability to be at ease around the opposite sex. Nearly every man can tell you about a woman with a slender figure, a pretty face and long flowing hair that suddenly became unappealing the moment she opened her mouth.
A confident woman doesn’t dominate the conversation
A confident woman genuinely likes me (and gives them the benefit of the doubt)
A confident woman doesn’t argue when a man is rude. She simply stops talking.
Imagine a man who weighs 500 lbs and doesn’t bathe. Now if you were to speak with this man at a party you wouldn’t make fun of him. No, in all likelihood you’d feel sorry for him and be cordial and nice, but you wouldn’t encourage him. With this type of man you would be exhibiting the ability to be at ease. This is the primary reason why the men you are not interested in are so interested in you. You come across as at ease with yourself, which is always appealing.
- Your man tells you that he had a tough day at work. What he really wants from you is:
Answer: C
Reason: Men love to solve their own problems. In fact, one of the reasons they don’t talk about their problems is they feel that they need to fix it themselves. In addition, solving a problem fulfills a man’s greatest desire – to feel powerful. So when a woman offers to help, she inadvertently conveys to him that he is weak and needs help.
When a woman encourages a man’s ability, he feels empowered and appreciated. In his mind, she believes in him and his ability; and with that kind of encouragement, a man will often feel that there is nothing he can’t do.
- You've been going out with a guy for nearly a month and he calls often and professes how deeply he feels for you. The relationship seems to have begun with an instant “connection.” How does he most likely feel about you?
Answer: B
The problem with an “instant connection” with a man is that often it is adrenaline-based, which is like being on a drug high. It certainly is real what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t know you well enough to be in love with you. At the moment, yes, he’s totally into you but be careful, because his intense feelings will most likely subside over time. Men just can’t maintain intense emotions for a very long time. Enjoy the “connection,” but don’t assume that it is more than what it is – an infatuation that only spending enough time together will solidify.
- You go to dinner with a guy on a first date. You’ve known him casually for a couple of months and are excited that he finally “asked you out.” During the first 20 minutes of dinner, you feel very “connected” to him. The conversation is fun and stimulating. Suddenly you notice that he seems to pull back and there is dead silence for what seems like minutes. What is the most likely interpretation of his not talking?
Answer: C
It is quite doubtful that if he has invited you to spend an evening with him that having a wonderful conversation will make him upset. Men are easily overwhelmed with too many words. Pull back a little bit in the beginning. Allow him to talk about what interests him as well. If he isn’t saying much, go at his pace. If you simply pause when he is quiet, in about 2 or 3 minutes he should start talking again.
- The man in your life arranges (and pays) for a full-day spa treatment for you on your birthday, which you expected. What you didn’t know is that when you arrived home from your day of pampering, he had also purchased a gift certificate for you at your favorite place to shop. What is his most likely motivation for being so wonderful and giving?
Answer: D
Even though you may be certain the answer is A, in truth his primary motivation is to see you happy. If it leads to sex, then I don’t think he will complain; but even if you were to have sex with him, if his gift doesn’t make you happy, then he will likely feel like a failure.
- You’ve just broken up with your ex. Your relationship was doing well until the last month where disagreements began to increase in frequency. Then the relationship ended and after a couple of weeks you still aren’t certain why he broke up with you and you want the relationship back. Your natural instincts tell you that if you could only talk with him, or share how you’re feeling, he’d want to get back together with you or you’d at least have “closure.” How do you think he would most likely think about you reaching out to him?
Answer: C
Unless he initiates the discussion, it will only feel to him like you want to make him listen to you complain about him. I’m not saying this is correct, but that is most likely how he will feel. From his perspective, there was a breakup and it felt awful. Why would he want to talk about things that make him feel awful again?
