By:
Bob
Grant, L.P.C.
An excerpt from "The
Man Of Your Dreams"
Here’s
a really simplistic way to evaluate men. Let’s just put
men into two categories. One group of men we’ll call
fabulous and the other will be those that are strong
(steady).
Realize
with all things, this isn’t to say that there are men
who are entirely fabulous or that there are men who are
only strong and steady. Usually a ratio of 60-40 is a
good measurement. These are going to be their
predominant way of relating to you and relating to the
world around them.
Fabulous men are those who tend to go more up and down
with their moods. When they are feeling energized and
they are feeling good about themselves, they can be very
exciting and they can also be very intimate and very
quiet and very focused.
They
have an ability to use their intuition at times to
almost read a woman’s mind.
They
may or may not be loud or they may not be the life of
the party, but there is an emotional connection that a
woman feels with a man like this that seems almost
magical and effortless and these are the type of men
that a woman is most likely to say, “We just clicked
when we first met. It was as though he could read my
mind.”
This
type of man has the ability to make a woman feel very
excited, energized, alive, and passionate.
A
strong and steady man doesn’t have the swings in mood
that the fabulous one does. It’s not that they can’t be
empathetic. It’s not that they can’t be engaging and
kind and gracious, but this type of man usually takes
longer to get to know before you feel any of these
things from him.
They
tend to be a little more guarded with their feelings and
they tend to have relationships move at a slower pace.
If you’ve ever had a relationship with a man that
professed his love early in the relationship, you are
almost assuredly not dealing with this type.
A
strong and steady man is safe and a bit more predictable
than his counterpart, Mr. Fabulous.
Now
initially, when I mention these two types of men, the
obvious answer from most women is, “I want Mr.
Fabulous.” I mean, based on what I just told you––who
wouldn’t want someone exciting? If that’s all there was
to these two types, the choice would be obvious.
But
there’s a down side that each of these types carries
with them.
A man
that has a fabulous ability is often moody.
That
same quality that enables him to be intuitive and in
touch with a woman’s feelings means he is going to be
more in touch with his own feelings, even the darker
ones.
He’s
not going to be as good at containing his doubts as Mr.
Strong-Steady.
The
fabulous man is going to be one who is going to be more
likely to experience doubts about a relationship once it
is going well, thinking that he’s gotten into a
relationship and it’s gone fast and effortless and
because this type of man tends to think that
the relationship should stay effortless forever. Once it’s
not effortless, once the first inclination of boredom or
the first disagreement comes about, they begin to
question the entire relationship. ...
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