by Noah Parker
We all want an enjoyable relationship that can stand the test of time, but how is it done exactly?
Instead of just taking a stab at an answer, I wanted to hand deliver to you the best takeaways from research studies I’ve found.
These 7 habits are what I consider the ‘pillars’ of every happy, lasting relationship.
7. Supporting your partner
When your partner tells you good news, how do you react?
Being able to share your partner’s joy turns out to be a big part of the happiness in a relationship. In one study, couples who were able to show enthusiasm, ask questions, congratulate, and relive the experience with their partner were happier than couples who did not.
6. Not living in the past
If you've ever loved a man you know that at some point you've likely made one of these mistakes in your relationship. t’s easy to dwell on past mistakes and problems of your past.
We all have insecurities about ourselves and whether or not we measure up, to ourselves or your partner. You and your significant other have a tremendous ability to harm or help each other become who you want to be in life.
The happiest couples help each other become their best ideal selves by looking toward the future.
5. Solving your problems together
Couples fight, they argue, they make up.
How they solve that argument is one of the most important things to look at. Couples who show humor, express affection, and concede certain points with their partner while fighting are happier. Couples who are unhappy tend to act on the defense, ignore their partner, resort to personal attacks, and disregard their partner.
Being able to truly forgive is important.
4. Making time for the bedroom
It may be no surprise; physical intimacy is a large part of happiness in a relationship. Most women know that men like sex but they often don't realize exactly what sex means to a man.
“People are 55% more likely to be happier when they have sex every few days; the happiest couples have sex 2 to 3 times a week, and having sex once a week makes people 44% more likely to have positive feelings.“
So the next time you think you're too busy for the bedroom, consider knocking a few things off your to-do list so you can knock boots instead.
3. Doing something positive every day
Taking the time to do something nice for each other makes up a big part of what defines a happy couple.
Happy couples tend to have 5 positive interactions for every negative one. That could something like giving a compliment, showing your appreciation for something big (or small), reminiscing about a fun memory, or just showing you care by doing something nice!
Taking the time to have new experiences together also creates positivity between a couple. It could be something like exploring a place you’ve never been or going to a concert...or something simple like an evening walk or cooking together.
In a recent study, it was found that gratitude can increase positive behavior towards a spouse over time. It revealed that we feel thankful for our partner when they’re responsive towards our needs, which in turn, inspires us to respond to their needs, producing a positive cycle.
2. Making each other laugh
In one study, couples were asked to think back to a positive time in their relationship. The couples who answered with a memory of when “they both laughed together” also reported being happier in their relationship than the other respondents. It seems obvious, but it’s worth putting on the list!
As mentioned previously, couples who tend to use humor to defuse tension when they fight are often rated as happier together.
There’s a reason why they say laughter is the best medicine. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, your body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can temporarily relieve pain.
If your partner can make you laugh, it’s easy to see how your brain and heart can’t help but agree they’re a great choice.
1. Enjoying each other’s company
If the last one seemed obvious, this one should come expected.
In one study, the major determining factor whether or not couples feel happy with their relationship is the quality of their friendship, according to 70% of the couples.
So how can you ensure that you can enjoy each other’s company? One study found that couples who spend alone time together at least once a week are 3.5 more likely to be happy in their relationships.
Making time to experience things together and be truly mindful of your time together will create a loving and positive environment for love to bloom.
“People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy.” - Samuel Butler
From the bottom of my heart, I hope this article helps you create a happy, lasting relationship in your life. My mission is to help you understand life and love with not just an opinion but with advice that works, backed by science.
Did this article help you? I’d love to hear from you.
Noah Parker has a great deal of patience and has become an amazing listener for solving problems.
He has studied marketing while working with several different online businesses. He enjoys diving into the psychology of people’s emotions when they make all sorts of decisions in work, play, life, and love.
Having witnessed many close friends and family struggle with communication in their own relationships, it made him want to develop a platform for helping people in their love lives.
After taking many courses on relationships and studying numerous coaches, he began to help people in their communication with their partners and identify the root issues going on in their relationships.