For the last eight months, my life has been a little hectic. I decided to take a break from online dating during that time after one guy became very frustrated by how unavailable I was. He was right. It’s kind of hard to start a relationship when one person is rarely in town.
Once things calmed down, I got back online. I began talking to a few guys, and scheduled a date for the next week. For the first couple of days, I was excited. The day before the date, I was going through my normal first date prep, when I suddenly didn't feel so excited anymore.
I felt like there was a pit in my stomach. I started to worry. I didn't have anything to wear. What if he doesn’t look like his picture? What if we have nothing in common? Ridiculous, I know.
First Date Butterflies
Women go through a roller coaster of emotions before a first date. We feel excitement and hope, "Maybe he will actually be the one!" - then we feel doubt and fear - "What if he doesn't like me?" In the days leading up to a first date, a woman goes through a lot of "maybes" and "what ifs".
I was freaking out over the what-ifs before that date. So much so, I almost cancelled. Luckily, I snapped out of it. I was being silly. It wasn't my first rodeo and I would be fine. I had a glass of wine, got myself ready for the next night, and it ended up being a pretty good first date.
It’s totally normal to have mixed feelings about a first date. It’s totally normal to be more nervous than anything else. Honestly, some nerves are good. The key is not letting those nerves take over, cause you to panic, and get in the way of your having a good time. You're thinking, "Easier said than done," but it's not.
There are several things you can do to crush first date jitters and make a great impression. It all comes down to being prepared.
First and foremost, don't cancel. No matter how crippling your nerves are leading up to the moment you walk out the door, don't cancel. It’s scary, but you never know what could happen. And you certainly won't find out from your couch if you cancel.
It may seem easier to ignore the impending date until you're on it but that will only lead to panic the day of. Decide what you’re going to wear and make sure you have all of your grooming in order a day or two before the date.
Keep the venue in mind and consider what you’d wear if you were meeting a friend there. You know what looks best on you and whatever you decide to wear, it is important that you feel comfortable and confident in it.
A first date is not the time to break in a new pair of shoes, try Spanx, or false eyelashes for the first time. If you are uncomfortable it will have a negative effect on you and the impression you make.
You don't need to feel anymore stressed than is necessary on the day of, so set aside plenty of time to get ready so you don't feel rushed. Get your nails done. Get a massage or a blowout. Go to the gym or take a walk before you get ready. It will help clear you head and everyone feels better after a little pampering.
Have a glass of wine, take a deep breath, put on some music, and take your time getting ready.
Before you head out to meet your date, remind yourself of what you know about him. If you met online, read his profile again. Think of a few topics you can bring up if the conversation lulls.
Last but not least, don't take it so seriously and try to have fun.
Remember that he is nervous too! Ask questions and actually listen to his answers instead of trying to force a conversation. Relax and be yourself. Focus on getting to know him and letting him get to know you.
It's just a date. Maybe you’ll hit it off, maybe you won't. Either way, it's not the end of the world and you have nothing to lose.
Christine Robb is a freelance writer and the author of Bitch, You’re Just Not Approachable. How You Can Be THAT Girl.
She does not claim to be an expert and she doesn’t consider herself a guru. She's just a normal single gal who drinks beer, eats bar food and lives in Manhattan, but she knows what she wants in life and love and won't settle for anything less. She also knows how to be approachable.
While writing her first book, Christine decided to take some of her journals on single life, finding confidence, and dating in NYC and share them with the blogging community because some of her experiences are just too ridiculous not to share.
Check out her site http://YouCanBeTHATGirl.com to find a safe place for anyone struggling with confidence, self-esteem, self-image, and dating.