Do you know the most common concern I hear from women who come to me for relationship counseling?
It can be summed up in 6 words: “If only I could understand men.”
It always baffles me that women think men are such a mystery because I believe men are simple creatures with simple wants and needs.
In comparison, women are significantly more complex and difficult to comprehend.
I say this not just because I happen to be a man, but because I’ve done relationship counseling with both women and men – and I can tell you, the men have a more daunting challenge trying to figure out women!
Nonetheless, women the world over constantly struggle to understand men.
They find it frustrating that they can’t delve inside a man’s head to find out what he’s really thinking when he behaves the way he does. “That would make life so much easier,” they sigh.
Isn’t it amazing that many of the bestselling books about how to attract and seduce a man are written by women? And yet MORE WOMEN THAN EVER are having relationship troubles! Go figure.
The Worst Advice Comes From....
This brings me to the subject of women seeking each other’s opinions about how to fix their relationships with men – or seeking relationship advice from women’s magazines.
I’ve seen far too many women who spend an inordinate amount of time with their girlfriends psychoanalyzing men to death, trying to figure them out, and often missing the mark.
Or they read women’s magazines for advice as though those publications were the be-all and end-all of relationship authorities.
I don’t wish to discredit women’s magazines in general, but the truth remains that when women give other women advice, they do so in a way that women can consume. In other words, they sugarcoat the pill into something palatable enough for women to swallow.
By their very nature, women always try to comfort and cuddle each other by regurgitating half-truths and fallacies they’ve read in women’s magazines just to make them feel good.
When they’re dumped, cheated on, or emotionally hurt by men, they comfort each other with words like...
“It’s his loss”
“He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on”
”The right man will come along. It will happen when it's supposed to happen."
While those might be comforting words, they give nothing by way of actionable recommendations to avoid being treated by men in that manner in the future – or better still, how to make a man cherish, love and be devoted to them.
I can’t really blame women, though. Most don’t know the truth about men, and those that do usually find it hard to swallow or accept.
Use A Man's Tendencies For Your Benefit
The secret is to accept men as they are, celebrate them, and like them in spite of how different they are from you. Once you ACCEPT men instead of resisting them (e.g., calling them heartless jerks or pigs), you can use their natural tendencies in your favor.
Men are physically bigger and stronger than women, so you can’t fight them with force, and expect to win. But with feminine softness, you can harness a man’s strength, and use it to your benefit. Then, you’ll have the upper hand in the relationship.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.
“The Relationship Doctor”