by Debra Rogers
You pump yourself with vitamin C to help heal a cold, but what can you do to help heal your relationship? What methods can you use to feel better and get on the road to recovery? Just as our bodies require self-care to maintain optimal health, our relationships require TLC as well.
So whether you want to nurse your troubled relationship back to health or to build an even stronger one, everyone can use these 6 essential C remedies:
A Dose of Communication
In our crazy, busy lives it’s so easy to disconnect from our partners. We’re consumed with catching up on e-mails, Facebook, or Modern Family, instead of playing catch-up with our partner. Good communication is absolutely essential in maintaining a great relationship. So nix the social media, step away from the phone, and get some real face-to-face time in. The more you communicate, the stronger your relationship will be.
A Boost of Curiosity
Many times we assume we know what our partner is thinking. We believe we know why he or she came home an hour late, or was quiet at dinner, or is in a bad mood. My fiancé is not one to chat about his day (most men are not), so I always make a point to ask. I usually get insights I wouldn’t normally get. So ask questions and be interested. Life changes constantly, so by staying curious about the one you love, you’ll stay connected as well.
A Warm Compress of Compassion
Disagreements happen. But there’s no need to lob insults, dig up drama, or keep score. If you do, it’ll only force that wedge in between you even more. So when you differ, try acknowledging your partner’s point of view, even if you don’t fully agree. Why? Because, it tells him or her that you understand where he or she is coming from. If you do this, your partner will be more open to seeing your side as well. Our job as partners is to support each other and not constantly find fault. So be considerate with each other’s feelings.
An Injection of Compromise
Are you or your partner being a stick in the mud or dead set in your ways? Then it’s time to brush up on your conflict resolution skills. If you don’t, your relationship may implode. If one partner is feeling that they are constantly giving in while the other has his or her way, the relationship can become seriously off balance. Relationships are about relating to each other, not trying to change our partners into something they’re not. It’s all about give and take, and with that comes compromise.
A Shot of Commitment
Relationships are built through trust, so if you’re having doubts about who your partner’s with or what he or she is doing, your house of love will come crumbling down. If you can’t trust your partner as far as you can throw him or her, how do you expect to have a lasting relationship? The question here is: can you rebuild your trust? Or is it beyond repair? This isn’t about becoming a super sleuth or stalking your partner on social media. Deal with your feelings and talk honestly. Bottom line: commitment is vital to lasting love.
A Measure of Clarity
Take an honest look at what’s working and what’s not in the relationship. Get clear on the specific problems and deal with them with love and compassion. Think about it this way: if you don’t tend to what’s troubling in your relationship, how do you expect it to get better? With this in mind, ask yourself, “What do I need to learn? What’s one thing I can to do improve my relationship right now?”
Relationships give us our greatest ability to learn and grow. It’s all by choice. So just as it’s a choice to learn from our mistakes, it’s a choice to work on the relationship so it can flourish. By taking these powerful doses of Cs, you’ll be nursing your relationship back to health and happiness.
Award-Winning Author, Relationship Expert, and Queen of Breakovers. Debra’s your best girl expert in the school of love. With years of dating and breakup experience, including one crushing breakup at eight months pregnant (which evolved into a supportive divorce and loving friendship), Debra’s earned her relationship MBA.
Debra offers her relationship expertise as a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and Digital Romance. Her book He Did You a Favor has been featured in Shape Magazine and is the winner of the 2014 Independent Publisher Award, the Next Generation Indie Award, and the Indie Reader Discovery Award (named as one of the “Best Indie Books of 2014”).
He Did You a Favor is her recipe for success, so you can have the life and relationships you’ve always dreamed of.
Debra currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her amazing daughter and has finally found true love. She is currently writing the follow-up books in her Did You a Favor series.