A softer job interview at best and often an emotional disaster ground, the first date is a necessary evil to a romantic happy ending. And sometimes, they are quite wonderful. But the bad has infected the first date’s reputation and to salvage it, we must attack the root of the problem.
I racked my memory for my worst first dates and friends offered their own war stories to compile the top three first date mistakes that you may not even realize you are making.
Offense # 1 – Over-sharing
Even the most serial of us daters are seeking a human connection so on some level it makes sense to divulge away to the cute stranger sitting across from you. I have heard the most heartbreaking tales of adultery, neglect and even childhood woes from first rounders.
One oblivious man spent an enormous amount of time plotting his failed marriage start to finish and ending with his ex’s picture perfect rebound. Sure, I felt sorry for him but is that grounds for a second date? Male friends have indicated that woman often “man bash” on first dates, daring their dates to prove them wrong. This tactic does nothing but secure that your ticked off date will be joining the men who have done you wrong.
Offense # 2 - Humble- Bragging
Hinting at your hotness or putting your bank account on parade will not land you many dates (in most cases, gold diggers will dive right in.) Yet, humble bragging is absurdly common. Is it nerves? Is it social incompetence? Or is it simply because an audience sparks our inner ego? A recent date’s monologue detailing his extravagant bonus and subsequent shopping spree was not only an -(see Offense #1) but also an obnoxious start to our fancy dinner.
Another offered a string of smug stories in which he stared as the leading man crushing the romantic dreams of his lowly – didn't look enough like their pictures – first dates before me. His rant ended as he offered the most supreme of offers, a second date with Mr. Exclusive. I high tailed it out of there as he scratched his head in perplexed wonder as to how a mere mortal could turn his highness down.
Woman are humble bragging culprits too – keep your countless date offers and world class style to yourself. Let him figure out how amazing your are all on his own and your humble beginning could launch a meaningful relationship.
Offense # 3 – Minding Your Manners
Next time you find yourself in the midst of a first date, look around the table. If your phone is anywhere in site with the ringer on, consider the impolite implications. In today’s technological world, some of us confuse constant communication as a socially accepted new norm.
It isn’t. An even more heinous crime is texting while in your date’s company. You may be sending mom a Happy Birthday message or texting that hot guy from Tinder – your date will never know for sure.
Keep these tips in mind as your embark on your last first date!
Jodi the Hopefull Romantic, www.thehopefullromantic.com