What do men really want? Actually, it’s pretty simple, but most women have the hardest time understanding men. Deep inside the heart of every man is a secret wish to be trusted. How many times have men said to their wives, “If you would just trust me?”
Many men wonder why it seems so difficult for their wives to do something so seemingly simple. The answer stems from the physiological differences between the sexes.
It begins at birth when little boys are given a distinct physical advantage over little girls by having higher levels of testosterone. With testosterone comes the physical strength to defend themselves from danger or run away from a threat.
Most little girls don’t have that ability. They don’t have the strength to defend themselves in a physical fight when they feel threatened.
If a boy trusts someone who in turn hurts him, he can always defend himself physically (or try to). Little girls don’t have that physical resource of power. Since a person can only trust from a position of strength, those same little girls will grow up into women who naturally have a more difficult time “trusting” when they feel vulnerable.
So men, when you ask the woman of your choice to simply “trust you,” it’s not that she can’t, it’s just that she’s more vulnerable than you are. If you want her to trust you, she needs something that will help her develop that trust.
Perhaps even a tool or gesture that she can “count on” until her trust in you is established. Thankfully this tool already exists and is known by every woman. What cultivates trust in a woman is a man who consistently keeps his word. To her, making a promise is meaningless if there is no follow-through.
A woman needs to SEE her man fulfill his promises – not just hear his pledge without action.
Allow me to illustrate. Imagine someone told you that I was the meanest person they had ever met. For months, all you heard was how terrible I treated my family and friends.
Then one day you meet me, and during the course of our meeting, you begin to notice that I don’t seem to be as horrible as you have been led to believe. I actually appear to be rather pleasant.
Would you change your entire opinion about me from just one visit? Probably not! However, if you saw me respond consistently with kindness and humility over a period of several weeks, your opinion of me would begin to change.
A paradox has just been established. The kindness you have seen in me for the last few weeks does not match what you have heard about me. All the rumors of how mean I am begin to fade into darkness because of my consistent actions.
Over time, what you see will replace most, if not all, of your concerns about my character.
Men, when the woman you love sees your words lining up with your actions, trust will naturally follow. When you don’t keep your word, it causes your wife or girlfriend to become fearful. From her perspective, she has entrusted you with her heart and WANTS to trust you. She simply needs you to help her trust so she can give you what you want.